Do you remember how when you were in school, when you really poured yourself into something, you enjoyed the result, and were proud of it? Ever put a lot of time into a performance, sport, instrument? It turned out so much better with practice and attention, right? Then why don’t we do everything we do with that kind of attention? Why do people get lazy about living their lives, and their day to day duties and relationships?
A couple of years ago, I made that my goal. To be more intentional with my time, relationships, money, etc. I obviously don’t succeed in everything I do or do it perfectly. I need much more intention applied in a lot of areas. But I feel a lot better about what I do put into things. I make progress I can be proud of.
What am I talking about? Little things. Like am I intentional about what tv I watch? Are the shows I watch teaching me anything? Of course not all my entertainment is educational. There is plenty of mindless relaxing. But is it harmful? Am I watching something that is degrading to anybody or anything, or filling my mind with harmful ideas or even just nonsense? For example, I LOVE the “Cosby show”. You see examples of good parenting, bad parenting, how families respond to each other, and even recent history. Of course it’s scripted acting, and it’s not real or even realistic sometimes. But it’s not harmful entertainment. I also love the “Big Bang Theory” tv show. No, it doesn’t teach me anything aside from obscure scientific facts that I probably won’t need to know. But I do find it entertaining. It does not expose me to inappropriate ideas (mostly). My main point, is the other day, my husband and I were watching a new movie. It has a couple big name actors, and I was looking forward to it. It turned out to be coarsely vulgar, in language and content. Over the edge for me. Did I finish the movie? No, I got up and left the room, and later than I probably should have. Is it a bad movie to some people? No. But it was too much for me. Luke 11:34 says, “34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy,your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. 35 See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.” My thoughts were not light during that movie. So I need to choose intentionally what I expose myself to.
I also like to be intentional about what I read. I’m reading a few different parenting books right now. I also enjoy a really good novel, although it’s been awhile since I read one. But if I’m reading, there are other things I’m not getting done, and people I’m not spending time with. So when I read, I want it to be something that’s worth it. A book that’s teaching me something or challenging me, or some really good entertainment, that is not filling my mind with inappropriate thoughts. I also do the same for my daughter, who is 7 and likes to read. I stopped buying her all the silly fairy books where they fix all their problems with pixie dust. Will these books harm her? Of course not, but if she’s reading something else she loves that’s more educational while still entertaining, she gains much more.
Something critical to being intentional, is realizing every time you choose something, or somebody, you are not choosing something or somebody else. If I choose to Facebook for an hour, then I choose not to play with my child who is at my knee wanting my attention. Did I deliberately ignore them and make a firm choice about spending an hour on the computer? No, but the result is the same. I’m not making a judgement about facebooking or how one should respond to a child, just making an example in my own life. If I choose to stop and talk to a stranger in the store for 30 minutes about nothing, I may have been ignoring my over-hungry, over-tired kids in the cart. Every choice is a choice to DO something, and to NOT do something else, whether it was deliberate or not.
Obviously we all need rest. And we need to turn off our minds. My husband enjoys playing pool. I’m glad that after work and dinner, he can go shoot some pool and get his mind off things, and enjoy himself. But does he shoot pool all day long? Of course not! He plays enough to relax, and then moves on. But my main point is, our play has to be intentional, too. If it does not do some sort of service to ourselves or someone else, why participate? If it doesn’t serve someone else, or isn’t reenergizing or relaxing for you, why are you doing it? Why watch a movie depicting scenes which are hurtful to someone else? Why waste any time, when our time is so precious and fleeting? Like I said, rest and breaks are also necessary and can be intentional. I’m just saying to choose your “rest” method wisely, and to balance it with productivity. And know your needs. If you are in high stress situations, allow yourself more time to rest and build yourself up.
I encourage everybody to be more intentional in their actions. After all, what is there to lose?